Knowing if a dancer is ready to heal their relationship with food can be confusing. If you’re a parent or dance educator, you may wonder: “They’re saying the right things— but nothing gets put into action.”
This doubt is common—especially when your dancer is navigating:
- Body changes
- Injury recovery
- Early signs of disordered eating
You’re not alone in asking: Is my dancer truly ready to heal their relationship with food? Or are they just telling me what I want to hear?
The answer lies in a concept we call buy-in— and it’s more complex (and compassionate) than it sounds. Let’s break down what buy-in means, what it can look like in a dancer, and how to encourage it with patience, compassion, and trust.
What Is Buy-In?
In the context of food and body image work, buy-in refers to a dancer’s personal investment in the process of healing or making change. It’s not just agreeing with the ideas of nutrition support, intuitive eating, body image resilience, or food neutrality— it’s an internal motivation. A dancer is ready for nutrition support once they believe in the value of those concepts enough to try them, even if imperfectly. More specifically, it’s:
- Feeling safe enough to question old patterns
- Being curious about new approaches
- Wanting to feel better, even if it’s scary or feels uncomfortable
A dancer’s readiness for support develops gradually. It’s not a one-time or overnight decision. A dancer might start skeptical or disconnected, and that’s okay. The goal isn’t blind acceptance, but curious engagement.
The Stages of Change: A Framework for Understanding A Dancer’s Readiness to Support
Many dancers naturally move through the Stages of Change Model, also known as the Transtheoretical Model. These stages describe how people move through readiness for change. Let’s review each stage as it relates to a dancer.
#1: Pre-Contemplation
“I don’t have a problem.”
The dancer sees restriction or overtraining as discipline, not risk. Unfortunately, many dancers hover in this stage because of industry pressures around food and body image. For some, efforts to eat “clean” might be rooted unknowingly in restrictive eating. Though resistance might be high, this dancer can greatly benefit from working with a Registered Dietitian Nutritionist, especially if performance nutrition is of interest.
#2: Contemplation
“Something doesn’t feel right.”
They feel stuck, frustrated, or exhausted— but struggle to vocalize their needs or aren’t sure how to shift. I see many dancers struggling in this stage, particularly those who feel embedded in the orthorexic identity. Similar to above, meeting with a licensed dietitian can help this dancer understand the reasons for their struggles.
#3: Preparation
“Maybe I should try something different.”
They start asking questions or expressing interest in support. At this stage, I often encourage dancers (or their parents) to utilize my free resources, including this blog. Dancers can access articles, downloadable ebooks, courses, videos, and more to understand what’s possible. This can open doors to a dancer wanting more support, such as with 1:1 coaching.
#4: Action
“I’m doing things differently now.”
At this stage, a dancer is intervening and, better yet, with the help of credible support. This may mean they’re eating more consistently, resting intentionally, or shifting harmful language. Given the vulnerability to misinformation surrounding food and nutrition, working with a Registered Dietitian Nutritionist is essential at this stage.
#5: Maintenance
“This feels more natural.”
They’re sustaining new habits with increasing trust and confidence. It’s important to recognize that this stage doesn’t happen overnight and for some, can take years of action and strategy before new habits feel intuitive.
#6: Relapse (and Recovery)
“I slipped— but I know how to come back.”
This is critical, but knowing that a temporary setback doesn’t derail their entire journey. Many dancers may experience an ebb and flow of challenges throughout their training and careers. Injury, extended layoffs, intensives, and competition seasons increase the risk of falling back into old behaviors.
Why Buy-In Matters, But Isn’t Required
Without genuine buy-in, healing becomes performative. A dancer might say what they know others want to hear (“I’m eating more,” “I don’t care about my weight anymore”) without truly internalizing the deeper mindset shifts that support sustainable change.
This disconnect often shows up as:
- Surface-level compliance (eating certain foods only when prompted).
- Ongoing body checking or negative self-talk.
- Rigid thinking (“I messed up again,” “I’ll never get this right”).
- Cycles of restriction and rebellion (intentionally skipping snacks or not prioritizing emergency snacks for busy days).
But here’s the caveat: buy-in is not a prerequisite for support. When dancers feel emotionally safe, seen, and respected, internal motivation grows. You can support that process by:
- Avoiding food policing or praising body changes
- Modeling food neutrality in your own choices
- Focusing on values beyond the body. Ask questions about how your dancer feels—in class, in life, in her relationships.
- Acknowledging ambivalence. It’s normal to feel conflicted about change.
What Buy-In Looks Like in Action
Buy-in doesn’t always show up as enthusiasm or confidence. In fact, early signs are often subtle. Here’s what to look for:
- Curiosity over compliance. Your dancer begins asking why certain food choices matter—not just doing what they’re told: “I noticed I felt more energized when I added carbs to lunch. Is that normal?”
- Shifts in language. You hear fewer “shoulds” and more “wants.” For example: “I want to feel stronger in class” not “I should be eating better.”
- Emotional Awareness. They start identifying feelings connected to food and body image. “I was feeling anxious before I binged” or “It’s hard not to compare myself at the barre, but I’m trying.”
- Small acts of flexibility like trying previously feared foods, resting without guilt, or choosing outfits for comfort over appearance.
- Self-led support seeking, whether journaling, asking questions, or showing interest in resources.
Key Takeaways: Buy-In Takes Time
Healing doesn’t begin with convincing— it begins with connection.
The most powerful support comes from meeting your dancer where they are, not where we wish they’d be. Whether returning from a break, navigating a health concern, or simply figuring out who they are in a shifting body, dancers deserve to heal without performance pressure, and sharing resources might be your first step.
